Friday, October 29, 2010

Friday Five: Nindar FTW

Last week, I was in rare form on Twitter.  I'm sure my Twitterati were rolling their eyes, shaking their heads, and wondering if I'd hunt them down with a chainsaw if they unfollowed me.  Apparently, I am either very entertaining or very scary, for my semi-coherent ramblings did not lose me any followers. I'm going to go with very entertaining although I suspect it's probably the latter.

So anywho, I bet you're all wondering what this has to do with today's Friday Five, and of course, what the hell is Nindar?  Well, while I was ranting about rubber checks, padded rooms, being out in left field (because some said that I wasn't right...hehehe...get it? yeah, that was stupid, but like I said, RARE FORM), we started talking about ninjas.  Of course, I had to barge into a conversation that I was not invited into (hey, that's how I roll) and put my two sense in.

I told EVERYONE that I had Nindar.  Now, Nindar is defined (according to the big book of words and phrases that Karlie made up) as, "the ability to detect fellow ninjas from at least a mile away"  I'm not lying.  You can look it up...uh...well, the Big Book of Words and Phrases that Karlie Made Up hasn't actually been published yet, but when it is available, you will be the first to know.  So, I guess you'll just have to take my word for it :)

So, for this Friday Five, I'm going to share with all you fine folks, who probably don't have your own Nindar yet, a few tricks to spotting a ninja, if one happens to be in your area.  I know.  I know.  You're welcome.

Five Most Commonly Occurring Ninjas

Classic Ninja:  The classic ninja is the most easily recognized ninja of them all.  This ninja is a purist.  He/She loves black clothes, black face masks, black weapons.  No, this ninja is not into the whole vampire scene, well unless said ninja is on the vampire slaying warpath.  Classic ninjas are silent, but deadly.  Odds are you will not see(or hear) this ninja coming until it's too late.  Sorry about your luck there, buddy.

 Pirate Ninja:  The anti-ninja.  The pirate ninja is neither silent nor deadly...well, unless the pirate ninja makes you walk the plank or challenges you to a drinking contest(then, he's downright life-threatening).  Pirate ninjas sail the high seas in search of lost treasure and any booty they can rid passing ships of.  They prefer the dredded out hairstyle, flowy clothes, and black eyeliner.  They also love their rum more than their children, and will not share it with you.  Be forewarned.  The pirate ninja may be ostentatious and not all that quiet, but he is a thing to be feared, since he can fight with the best of them without once spilling his drink (because..well, that's alcohol abuse...duh).

Wizard Ninja:  Think Harry Potter, ninja style.  The wizard ninja is not easily seen as he is usually under the protection of his invisibility cloak.  When he is visible, he seems very unassuming, boy-who-lived-under-the-stairs.  Do NOT be fooled.  The wizard ninja will stop at nothing to defend his school and his friends from trouble, so evil best steer clear of the wizard ninja and his magic wand (uh...yeah...I just read that back to myself and it sounded rather naughty, didn't it? hehehe...get your minds out of the gutter. jeesh!)

TrampStamp Ninja:  This ninja is not at all frightening...except for at 7am when he/she is doing the ninja walk of shame in last night's club gear.  Best known for smeared mascara, ratty hair, and the brand of all TrampStamp ninjas on their lower back, this is the most easily recognized of all the ninjas.  You have nothing fear from this ninja.

Droopy Ninja:  The ninja that suffers from self-esteem issues.  Once the best of the best (usually a classic ninja whose lost his way) the droopy ninja writes bad poetry and plays (poorly) acoustic guitar, usually making up sappy love songs for the ninja girl who broke his heart.  I won't name any names but her initials are TrampStamp ninja.  I'm just saying.  Poor droopy ninja.

Well, folks.  There you have it.  Yes, there are more than just five categories of ninjas out there, but if I listed them all for you, we'd be here for a month...plus, this is called the Friday Five...right? RIGHT?  So, did I miss any that you think belong in the top five of the ninjas?  Has your Nindar come in yet, or are you still waiting for it to arrive?  Hopefully soon, the whole world with have it.  As I said in the post title NINDAR, FTW!!! (and, I mean that...really, I do)

PS...there is no contest this week....because I'm lazy, but really, learning about Nindar should be reward enough, right?  Stay tuned, next week.  Contest then :)