Friday, March 4, 2011

Friday Five: Cheap Bastard

That's right, people.  I, Karla/Karlie/LastWord0524, am admitting it here and now on this very blog.  I am a cheap bastard.  **waits while the blogosphere collectively picks their jaws up off the floor**

It's true.  Really.

And, since this just so happens to be a Friday Five posting, I give you:

Five Examples In Which Karla/Karlie/LastWord0524 Is A Cheap Bastard


  1. I use coupons...FOR EVERYTHING.  Not just groceries, friends.  Nope.  I troll the newspapers, magazines, internet, and really any place I can think of that will house a coupon or five for any little thing imaginable.  Need my oil changed? I got a coupon for that! Want to go out to eat? Well, sure, but we can only go here or there cuz I have a coupon.  Movies? Oh, snap! I got coupons for both admission and concession.  Yep, friends.  I'm that girl. 
  2. I wash and reuse plastic ware.  Not just forks and spoons, either.  Those little trays that Lean Cuisines come in? They're the perfect size for single serving portions, and I've got oodles of them.
  3. Unconscious mooching.  Okay, in this instance, I don't actually mean to be, but it has recently come to my attention that my mother has paid for our shared Sam's Club membership for the last three consecutive years.  I'm not sure how that happened, but somehow, every time the membership comes up for renewal, she just happens to be the one there, doing her shopping.  So, she's always paying for it.  Between you and me, minions, I think she pays for the membership just so she can have something to yip at me about.  So really, who am I to spoil her fun?  Right?  See? I'm doing her a favor by mooching the membership off her...you believe that don't you?  Yeah, me neither, but it was worth a shot.
  4. I have membership (i.e. discount) cards to all the major bookstores as well as a library card that gets more exercise than me and my dogs combined.  Okay.  So, this one's a throwaway.  I mean, yeah, I do use my library card more than the average bear, but I also happen to buy a helluva lot of books.  But, as I always say, "I ALWAYS have money for books.  ALWAYS.  So what if some weeks all I eat is Ramen noodles?  Books trump damned near everything...and that includes food (for me anyways...my puppies need to eat, you know)."
  5. I live by the mantra: Why pay someone else to do something that you can do for yourself?  Case in point:  Currently, a friend of mine is installing a fence at my house.  My dogs will be in heaven once it's complete.  Anywho, after all my preliminary research into the different avenues I could go, I found it would be cheaper and faster for me to make this a DIY project.  In the last week, I've gotten the survey work done, obtained the permit, and coordinated with the utility companies to mark all buried lines.  The final task on my list before my friend begins work was to purchase the materials.  After much comparison shopping, I placed the order.  Lo and behold, they wanted to charge me $150 for delivery.  And, what did I tell them, you ask?  To hell with that! I'll get a truck and take it all home myself.  So, I borrowed one of the company trucks and moseyed on over to the lumber store to pick up the order.  As I watched THREE big burly guys load my truck up, I began to doubt the intelligence of my plan (I was unloading the materials myself, BTW).  Also, you should know that it took them 42 minutes to finish loading.  Now worried that I bit off more than I could chew, I drove on home.  Guess how long it took me to unload said materials, folks.  Go ahead.  Guess.  27 minutes!!!  Now, you tell me.  How is that possible?!?!
Life Lesson Learned:  Being cheap is not always a bad thing...and apparently, you should never send THREE men to do a job that one (very determined) woman can do all by her lonesome in damned near half the time.  Think about that.