Wednesday, June 8, 2016

(Slightly) New Look!

Hello, Friends!

Long time, no talk, huh?  Well, this is me, saying hello AGAIN.

If you remember the last time I posted (more than a year ago), I made a promise to you all. One that I broke almost immediately.  Yep, I disappeared on you all.  AGAIN.

This time, I'm making no such promises.  As my great granny used to say, "Don't let your mouth write checks you can't cash."  Wise words, my granny used to throw around.

So, I'm not going to do that now.

What am I going to do, you ask?  Easy.  I'm going to say hello.  *WAVES*  Then, I'm going to tell you all what has me crawling out of the woodwork after all this time.

Two things.  Why? Because, with me, there are always AT LEAST two things.

ONE:  The publisher who brought you my first two books, ALWAYS AND FOREVER and A SLIVER HOPE is now no more.  Booktrope closed its doors at the end of May, thus closing the chapter (for the moment anyway) on those two books.

Can I republish them myself? Of course.  But, before I do, I'm going to be taking a long look at both books.  Can I make them better? Most definitely.

A&F definitely had a handful of typos that no one (the editor, the copy editor, the formatting person, or even I caught), so there's that.  Also, I've been batting around the idea of writing a short novella from Kal's point of view, a sort of peek into the lives of Mia's loved ones after the whole tragedy of losing her has settled.  So, before the republishing thing happens, I need to make some decisions.

And, don't even get me started on SLIVER.  I wrote A SLIVER OF HOPE a long time ago.  Long before I ever experienced real tragedy myself.  SLIVER was an exercise in how I THOUGHT the aftermath of losing a close relative to suicide would be like.  Now, that it's something I've experienced for myself, I can honestly say, SLIVER was not a true representation of what I went through.  Did I get some things right? Yes, but for the most part, I feel like the whole book is just so wrong.  For that reason alone, I may not republish.  Or if I do, it will need to have a complete overhaul done, one that I'm not sure I'll be strong enough to undertake any time soon. If ever.

Which brings me to reason number

TWO: It's been close to two years since my little brother passed away.  And, after almost five months of counseling, I can finally say the word suicide.  It nearly breaks me into a million tiny pieces and there are definitely tears in my eyes as I write this, but the point is that I can say the word.  That's so much further than I was just six months ago, when I was teetering on a ledge I wasn't sure I could cling to any longer.

Complicated Grief.  Apparently, that's a real thing.  Who knew?  I sure didn't.  But, it's something I'm working through.  And, hopefully some day, I can tell you all about what a fun, snarky kid my brother was.  How many shenanigans we got into together.  How many times we traded text messages late at night and how many hours we logged on Rock Band, while touring the world as the notorious super-group The Righteous Hemorrhoids.

Today, though, really isn't that day.

Today is only the first day, the first step, the first words of a (more than likely, LONG) journey of learning to live my life as the girl with a missing piece of her heart. A big chunk, really.

So, peeps, this is where my blog comes into play.  I've revamped it, slightly.  The color combo, the layout, all that is basically the same.  But, I've taken down the book/writerly stuff involved.  One, because with Booktrope's closing, my books are currently not for sale, and Two, because this blog, for better or worse, is no longer going to be focused on my writing endeavors.

Will I still be writing? You betcha.

But, this blog is going to be focused more on healing and learning to live my life again.  It's going to be a diary of sorts.  Someplace I can come to talk about all the crazy/bad/weird/good stuff that happens in my life.  There will still be posts about the things I read and/or write, but those will be few and far between.

I know that many of you follow me for writing news and/or reading recs and I apologize in advance if this new direction is not what you signed up for.  Which is the main reason for the very long winded (with no pictures WHO IN THE FRACK DOESN'T INCLUDE AT LEAST ONE PICTURE IN THEIR BLOG POSTS?!?! ESPECIALLY ONE THIS LONG?????????) post full of excuses and without a single bit of humor.

If after this post, I've lost you, I just want to say that I understand and I've enjoyed spending time with you.  If you stay on, I can't promise constant laughs or shenanigans, but I can promise puppy pics, random Friday Fives, some tears and hopefully some good times sprinkled in there.

Happy Hump Day, peeps and I hope to see you around the Blogosphere or the Twitterverse again real soon.

-K